Who Am I as a Communicator?

Self evaluations are not an easy task even with something as simple as taking a test. I found myself questioning what I thought of myself during these questions. The test showed that in Communication Anxiety I scored 35 which put me in the mild level. The mild level states that sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable in some circumstances and confident in others and that I am not worried about my ability to communicate well.  My husband scored me at 30 and a co-worker scored me at 22 which placed me in the low level. Theses scores states that they feel that I display comfortable communication and confidents in most encounters. It felt good to see that they thought that I had good effective communication skills.

My score for Verbal Aggressiveness was 59 which place me in the moderate level. This level state that I show a good balance of respect for other’s perspectives and that I stick close to the issue when arguing instead of the person. My husband and co-worker both agreed with scores of 62 and 59 which ranged me in moderate level.

My results for my listening styles conveyed that all of us thought that I should be in the category of Group 1 which is considered people-oriented. But I am not sure if I totally agree. Yes, I am concerned about other’s emotions and yes, I do have great relationships with my families; however, I do not agree that it affects my ability to make good judgment because I believe in my families. I am fully aware when my families are hiding things from me. So I use other techniques to convey what they need to hear and know because at the end of the day it is their choice. I also see myself an Action-oriented person. I am very direct with my families while I show concern. I believe it is important to be both professional and compassionate with our children and families.

This experience has helped me realize that there are areas that I would like to work harder on; however, it is good to see that others see the efforts that I am making. My husband may show biases but my co-worker is strictly just someone that I engage with professionally. Now I have an idea of what direction I need to go to meet greater expectations.

Communicating Through Diversity

I have learned so much during this transition of moving from Tennessee to San Antonio within these last two years. I had never been exposed to such a large Hispanic culture before. I have had to learn and adjust to various aspects of my tradition and their tradition. At first it was very difficult but I was determined to not allow myself to be defended by diversity. And I realized that it was affecting my ability to communicate with my children and families; so, I put myself in the position to challenge myself. I decided to look at this experience through the eyes of a young child trying to see how I fit in it. It has been enlightening.

I have learned that communication is not just speaking words. It is understanding the culture, beliefs and perceptions of the person you are speaking too. There are things that I have said in Tennessee that was ok but they are offensive in Texas. I have learned that the Hispanic culture talk and express with their hands which involves touching to ward off their belief of curses; on the contrary, in Tennessee to much touching is a violation of personal space and respect unless you have been given permission to touch. I am still learning so much and I enjoy it.

I think of myself as a dual learner of language, culture, traditions and beliefs which in turns makes me a dual communicator. Now it is hard to switch from one culture to the other. I don’t know much but what I do know I use it as often as I can. I share with my husband things that I learn. My husband laughs when I tell him to come here in Spanish or I ask him how he is doing. He just smiles and responds. Most of the time, I don’t realize I said it in Spanish. Soon he will be speaking it too.

My three goals would be to learn more Spanish so that I can communicate with them in their language and promote their ability to learn English, ensure that I am other oriented so that I will be supportive of their needs and effectively practice the Platinum Rule so that there will be a sense of respect between my relationships with my families.

Communication skills and styles

For this assignment I decided to watch one of my got to watch shows “Tamar & Vince”. There was one problem. How could I watch t without hearing what they were saying? I just could must that. My husband doesn’t even talk to me when that comes on because I don’t want to miss one word. So I decided to record it so that I can review it in its entirety after the assignment. Thank God for DVR’s. LOL.

My observation was very intense for me. I noticed a lot of hand gestures, rolling of the hand, expressive facial movements and total body communication. I noticed that they used just as much nonverbal communication as they actually used words; especially Tamar. I even found myself calling out her possible mood at that time. All I can say drama queen!!!! And Vince communication was totally the opposite. He did not use his body and facial gesture when he was calm and talking. He keep that same look most of the time unless he go annoyed or upset.  Vince has not distinct look that he display’s when he is listening to something that he feels is untruth or over extreme. Just from the interaction I could predict the next responds.

 

When I reviewed the show with the sound, it was still exciting but not as dramatic as I thought. I realized that Tamar is a lot of mouth; however, I learned that she is more animated with movements and gestures than words. The excited moments I anticipated were not as dramatic as I assumed. For every word she made there were at least 5 moments. I noticed that her tone was always high and it was high.  Vince also surprised me. There were times that I thought from his blank look and calmness that he was being passive and allowing her to lead; on the contrary, That look meant “I don’t want to hear no more. That’s it!”.

This was a great assignment. It helped me realized that gestures, body movements and facial expression does not always convey the situation. Sometimes it takes a little more interaction to determine the state of the circumstances before you. When have to experience that whole package to get a clearer understanding.

My Favorite Communicators

I grew up during a time in my culture that it was a tradition to think that “children were better off seen and not heard”; however, my grandmother did not believe in instilling that tradition with her family. She taught our family that communication, support and togetherness would help our families succeed in majority of our endeavors. My home was a family home where my grandparents, parents, siblings, uncle, aunts, cousins and extended family members lived together and it took a lot of teamwork to learn to respect each other;  communication was the key.  

I loved the way our family took on efforts to complete tasks as a group. It provided ample times for use to talk with each other or interact with each other without using words; however, messages between us were commuted. Something as simple as cleaning the house was fascinating and engaging. We got up early on Saturday mornings to loud playing music to motivate us to accomplish our tasks. We sang and danced while one group cooked breakfast and the others cleaned every room in the house. It was so much fun. I still remember most of those songs and I continue that tradition with my family today. Then we would sit and eat together. All the children eat in the den and the adult at the dining room table.

My family believed in expressing themselves and showing emotions. I grew up in a home where it was ok to ask question and talk when adults were talking. There were several times in the day that they would sit in the dining area or den and talk about what was going on at school, in the community and with their personal life and they would include all of us regardless of the age. There was never a dumb question but occasionally we would get laughed at or teased; however, our question never went unanswered. My family believed in giving hugs, kisses and words of that expressed love.  It was a challenge to leave for school without giving hugs, kisses, or high fives to start our day. There were times that I wanted it and needed the encouragement and times that I didn’t but I gave it because it may be a day that they needed it to have a great day.

 All of this happened because my grandmother understands the value of communication and she wanted to help us learn how to exchange thoughts and ideals to enhance our lives and the lives of others. I continued that tradition with my family and it helps me and them understand each other’s feelings and understanding. It also helps me as an Educator when I listen to the children and their families. I come to them with an open mind; ready to collaborate with them to complete a goal.