Adjourning Your Team

I have learned that it is hard leaving something that you have been a part of whether your experience was good  or bad because it seems that you are leaving a piece of yourself alone with it. I have learned that when you participate in things you take ownership of it. In group activities, you apply ideas, labor and time; you get to see it grow and develop like you would if it was your child. You become concerned that it will not be the same without you or that you will feel lost and have an emptiness without it.

The feeling that I had leaving a group that I enjoyed was both in sadness and joy at the same time. I was sad that it was over and that it would no longer be a part of my norm that kept me secure, empowered, and a part of something. I would miss the interaction with people that I once dread but learned to depend on and trust knowing that they depend and trusted me too; however, I was grateful and happy that I had the opportunity to grow and learn from the experience. I could proudly stand back and gloat over our accomplishments. I made a difference when others were involved. This means we succeeded and conquered our goal.  

It is ironic that when I left a group that I did not enjoy I felt both sadness and joy but in a different manner.  I was sad because I felt a sense of failure, frustration and exiled. It made me wonder and doubt that I would be successful in being accepted among a group of my peers again; on the contrary, I felt relief from all the stress and aggravation. I was no longer going to be submitted to disorder or lack of communication. I was excited that I did not have to convince myself not to throw in the towel and give up in hopes that it would be over soon. And even when the task was completed, I did not fill a sense of accomplishment; only relieved that it was over.  I could walk away with no strings attached with hopes of almost never engaging with any of them again. 

When the group that I had been singing in for 8 years ended because a few of us was going off to college, going to serve our country and moving, I dealt with it by focusing on all the good times we had. I cried and laughed at the same time. We hugged, kissed and promised to say in touch. We had built a union that allowed all of us to experience that harmony is possible even when you’re not singing. Leaving was hard but friendship, collaboration and support will always exist. And I feel that it will be the same in regard to school.

I feel that I have built a good rapport with many of my colleagues. We have shared both knowledge and experiences that will change the way we interact and engage with our children and families.  My departure will be one of sweet bitterness knowing that I have tackled my desire to obtain more knowledge along with achieving my Master’s degree.  While having the assurance that so many families and peers will be enhanced from our collaboration of effective education, we will as a group continue our efforts to advocate productive education.   

Disagreements and Conflicts Situations

What some pie? Is all I could think after that encounter.

I am an assistant director for Head Start at two sites and I haven’t been there very long. My director is out frequently, but we have a great communication relationship. So, I am the supervisor that my staff sees everyday and report too. He had informed me of a situation between himself, a teacher and his supervisor. The teacher felt that he had favorites and that she was not being supported. And the months that I had been there before the accusation, I had not noticed it; however, I did notice the tension between her and the other staff.  I was very new and still trying to observe everyone so that I would know what method of interaction would be productive and effective with them.

 In one of my interactions with this particular teacher, she approached me to tell me of her years of experiences and Bachelors qualification. I commended her on her accomplishments. She shared with me the recent changes that the agency had experienced from one company to another and how she was making a certain amount but lost a few dollars when the change occurred. She continued to inform me how all the new hired staff that was being hired through the agency was being paid much lower than her. Then she slightly offended me by asking me how much were they paying me in that position followed by “I hope that I’m not offending you” and to be honest I was offended. I replied; “I didn’t take this position for the pay. I took this position because I have always wanted to extend my ability to provide the best possibilities for the families and children that we serve in both educator and in their lives.” Quickly my sarcasm kicked in and I replied; “To be honest my husband is a truck driver and his income takes care of the household; Mine is extra” with a smile. I removed myself from the conversation after that.

What just happen?

I know that I responded to quickly and in a negative way. It just caught me off guard. I felt like I was being interrogated and belittled at the same time. She seemed to have wanted me to know that even though I was her supervisor she had more experience and pay than I did. So many things were going on in my head. Did she apply for the position? Why did she need to know how much they were paying me? How could she tell me that she probably had more experience in teaching than she did? At the time, I needed to get her off me.

 One positive thing I know I did was not to engage in the comparing of experience, education and pay scale. I am fully confident in my years of effective teaching strategies, am reaching for the Master degree and am financially stable. And to be honest, I am very supportive and professional of her needs as a teacher but I do limit my conversation with her to work only.

I ask you; “How would you have handled it? What would you have said?     

I

Who Am I as a Communicator?

Self evaluations are not an easy task even with something as simple as taking a test. I found myself questioning what I thought of myself during these questions. The test showed that in Communication Anxiety I scored 35 which put me in the mild level. The mild level states that sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable in some circumstances and confident in others and that I am not worried about my ability to communicate well.  My husband scored me at 30 and a co-worker scored me at 22 which placed me in the low level. Theses scores states that they feel that I display comfortable communication and confidents in most encounters. It felt good to see that they thought that I had good effective communication skills.

My score for Verbal Aggressiveness was 59 which place me in the moderate level. This level state that I show a good balance of respect for other’s perspectives and that I stick close to the issue when arguing instead of the person. My husband and co-worker both agreed with scores of 62 and 59 which ranged me in moderate level.

My results for my listening styles conveyed that all of us thought that I should be in the category of Group 1 which is considered people-oriented. But I am not sure if I totally agree. Yes, I am concerned about other’s emotions and yes, I do have great relationships with my families; however, I do not agree that it affects my ability to make good judgment because I believe in my families. I am fully aware when my families are hiding things from me. So I use other techniques to convey what they need to hear and know because at the end of the day it is their choice. I also see myself an Action-oriented person. I am very direct with my families while I show concern. I believe it is important to be both professional and compassionate with our children and families.

This experience has helped me realize that there are areas that I would like to work harder on; however, it is good to see that others see the efforts that I am making. My husband may show biases but my co-worker is strictly just someone that I engage with professionally. Now I have an idea of what direction I need to go to meet greater expectations.

Communicating Through Diversity

I have learned so much during this transition of moving from Tennessee to San Antonio within these last two years. I had never been exposed to such a large Hispanic culture before. I have had to learn and adjust to various aspects of my tradition and their tradition. At first it was very difficult but I was determined to not allow myself to be defended by diversity. And I realized that it was affecting my ability to communicate with my children and families; so, I put myself in the position to challenge myself. I decided to look at this experience through the eyes of a young child trying to see how I fit in it. It has been enlightening.

I have learned that communication is not just speaking words. It is understanding the culture, beliefs and perceptions of the person you are speaking too. There are things that I have said in Tennessee that was ok but they are offensive in Texas. I have learned that the Hispanic culture talk and express with their hands which involves touching to ward off their belief of curses; on the contrary, in Tennessee to much touching is a violation of personal space and respect unless you have been given permission to touch. I am still learning so much and I enjoy it.

I think of myself as a dual learner of language, culture, traditions and beliefs which in turns makes me a dual communicator. Now it is hard to switch from one culture to the other. I don’t know much but what I do know I use it as often as I can. I share with my husband things that I learn. My husband laughs when I tell him to come here in Spanish or I ask him how he is doing. He just smiles and responds. Most of the time, I don’t realize I said it in Spanish. Soon he will be speaking it too.

My three goals would be to learn more Spanish so that I can communicate with them in their language and promote their ability to learn English, ensure that I am other oriented so that I will be supportive of their needs and effectively practice the Platinum Rule so that there will be a sense of respect between my relationships with my families.

Communication skills and styles

For this assignment I decided to watch one of my got to watch shows “Tamar & Vince”. There was one problem. How could I watch t without hearing what they were saying? I just could must that. My husband doesn’t even talk to me when that comes on because I don’t want to miss one word. So I decided to record it so that I can review it in its entirety after the assignment. Thank God for DVR’s. LOL.

My observation was very intense for me. I noticed a lot of hand gestures, rolling of the hand, expressive facial movements and total body communication. I noticed that they used just as much nonverbal communication as they actually used words; especially Tamar. I even found myself calling out her possible mood at that time. All I can say drama queen!!!! And Vince communication was totally the opposite. He did not use his body and facial gesture when he was calm and talking. He keep that same look most of the time unless he go annoyed or upset.  Vince has not distinct look that he display’s when he is listening to something that he feels is untruth or over extreme. Just from the interaction I could predict the next responds.

 

When I reviewed the show with the sound, it was still exciting but not as dramatic as I thought. I realized that Tamar is a lot of mouth; however, I learned that she is more animated with movements and gestures than words. The excited moments I anticipated were not as dramatic as I assumed. For every word she made there were at least 5 moments. I noticed that her tone was always high and it was high.  Vince also surprised me. There were times that I thought from his blank look and calmness that he was being passive and allowing her to lead; on the contrary, That look meant “I don’t want to hear no more. That’s it!”.

This was a great assignment. It helped me realized that gestures, body movements and facial expression does not always convey the situation. Sometimes it takes a little more interaction to determine the state of the circumstances before you. When have to experience that whole package to get a clearer understanding.

My Favorite Communicators

I grew up during a time in my culture that it was a tradition to think that “children were better off seen and not heard”; however, my grandmother did not believe in instilling that tradition with her family. She taught our family that communication, support and togetherness would help our families succeed in majority of our endeavors. My home was a family home where my grandparents, parents, siblings, uncle, aunts, cousins and extended family members lived together and it took a lot of teamwork to learn to respect each other;  communication was the key.  

I loved the way our family took on efforts to complete tasks as a group. It provided ample times for use to talk with each other or interact with each other without using words; however, messages between us were commuted. Something as simple as cleaning the house was fascinating and engaging. We got up early on Saturday mornings to loud playing music to motivate us to accomplish our tasks. We sang and danced while one group cooked breakfast and the others cleaned every room in the house. It was so much fun. I still remember most of those songs and I continue that tradition with my family today. Then we would sit and eat together. All the children eat in the den and the adult at the dining room table.

My family believed in expressing themselves and showing emotions. I grew up in a home where it was ok to ask question and talk when adults were talking. There were several times in the day that they would sit in the dining area or den and talk about what was going on at school, in the community and with their personal life and they would include all of us regardless of the age. There was never a dumb question but occasionally we would get laughed at or teased; however, our question never went unanswered. My family believed in giving hugs, kisses and words of that expressed love.  It was a challenge to leave for school without giving hugs, kisses, or high fives to start our day. There were times that I wanted it and needed the encouragement and times that I didn’t but I gave it because it may be a day that they needed it to have a great day.

 All of this happened because my grandmother understands the value of communication and she wanted to help us learn how to exchange thoughts and ideals to enhance our lives and the lives of others. I continued that tradition with my family and it helps me and them understand each other’s feelings and understanding. It also helps me as an Educator when I listen to the children and their families. I come to them with an open mind; ready to collaborate with them to complete a goal.

Professional Hopes and Goals

I hope that I can make such a positive and beneficial effect on the lives of the children and families from diverse backgrounds that they will embrace who they are and have the confidence and knowledge to be proud of their diversity.

My goal is to be a successful advocate that help others understand that it is imperative that we educate our early childhood children about whom they are and how diversity is a part of them. I will reveal the inequities that exist and provide alternative solutions that will promote equity to all the children and families. And I will encourage children to learn how to interact with other with the intention of giving them respect and interacting with them to build on social justice.

I would like to thank everyone for sharing their culture with me. I have a better understanding that in our differences that we all have the desire to be more united. I feel that unity by the statements and shared desires of my colleagues and I concur that we can make a change and a difference in the world we live in if we start by intergrading awareness of diversity with our children and families. We have the power to motive, encourage, and implant a desire to work together in the minds of our children especially if they are taught to embrace diversity both their and others.