Adjourning Your Team

I have learned that it is hard leaving something that you have been a part of whether your experience was good  or bad because it seems that you are leaving a piece of yourself alone with it. I have learned that when you participate in things you take ownership of it. In group activities, you apply ideas, labor and time; you get to see it grow and develop like you would if it was your child. You become concerned that it will not be the same without you or that you will feel lost and have an emptiness without it.

The feeling that I had leaving a group that I enjoyed was both in sadness and joy at the same time. I was sad that it was over and that it would no longer be a part of my norm that kept me secure, empowered, and a part of something. I would miss the interaction with people that I once dread but learned to depend on and trust knowing that they depend and trusted me too; however, I was grateful and happy that I had the opportunity to grow and learn from the experience. I could proudly stand back and gloat over our accomplishments. I made a difference when others were involved. This means we succeeded and conquered our goal.  

It is ironic that when I left a group that I did not enjoy I felt both sadness and joy but in a different manner.  I was sad because I felt a sense of failure, frustration and exiled. It made me wonder and doubt that I would be successful in being accepted among a group of my peers again; on the contrary, I felt relief from all the stress and aggravation. I was no longer going to be submitted to disorder or lack of communication. I was excited that I did not have to convince myself not to throw in the towel and give up in hopes that it would be over soon. And even when the task was completed, I did not fill a sense of accomplishment; only relieved that it was over.  I could walk away with no strings attached with hopes of almost never engaging with any of them again. 

When the group that I had been singing in for 8 years ended because a few of us was going off to college, going to serve our country and moving, I dealt with it by focusing on all the good times we had. I cried and laughed at the same time. We hugged, kissed and promised to say in touch. We had built a union that allowed all of us to experience that harmony is possible even when you’re not singing. Leaving was hard but friendship, collaboration and support will always exist. And I feel that it will be the same in regard to school.

I feel that I have built a good rapport with many of my colleagues. We have shared both knowledge and experiences that will change the way we interact and engage with our children and families.  My departure will be one of sweet bitterness knowing that I have tackled my desire to obtain more knowledge along with achieving my Master’s degree.  While having the assurance that so many families and peers will be enhanced from our collaboration of effective education, we will as a group continue our efforts to advocate productive education.   

Disagreements and Conflicts Situations

What some pie? Is all I could think after that encounter.

I am an assistant director for Head Start at two sites and I haven’t been there very long. My director is out frequently, but we have a great communication relationship. So, I am the supervisor that my staff sees everyday and report too. He had informed me of a situation between himself, a teacher and his supervisor. The teacher felt that he had favorites and that she was not being supported. And the months that I had been there before the accusation, I had not noticed it; however, I did notice the tension between her and the other staff.  I was very new and still trying to observe everyone so that I would know what method of interaction would be productive and effective with them.

 In one of my interactions with this particular teacher, she approached me to tell me of her years of experiences and Bachelors qualification. I commended her on her accomplishments. She shared with me the recent changes that the agency had experienced from one company to another and how she was making a certain amount but lost a few dollars when the change occurred. She continued to inform me how all the new hired staff that was being hired through the agency was being paid much lower than her. Then she slightly offended me by asking me how much were they paying me in that position followed by “I hope that I’m not offending you” and to be honest I was offended. I replied; “I didn’t take this position for the pay. I took this position because I have always wanted to extend my ability to provide the best possibilities for the families and children that we serve in both educator and in their lives.” Quickly my sarcasm kicked in and I replied; “To be honest my husband is a truck driver and his income takes care of the household; Mine is extra” with a smile. I removed myself from the conversation after that.

What just happen?

I know that I responded to quickly and in a negative way. It just caught me off guard. I felt like I was being interrogated and belittled at the same time. She seemed to have wanted me to know that even though I was her supervisor she had more experience and pay than I did. So many things were going on in my head. Did she apply for the position? Why did she need to know how much they were paying me? How could she tell me that she probably had more experience in teaching than she did? At the time, I needed to get her off me.

 One positive thing I know I did was not to engage in the comparing of experience, education and pay scale. I am fully confident in my years of effective teaching strategies, am reaching for the Master degree and am financially stable. And to be honest, I am very supportive and professional of her needs as a teacher but I do limit my conversation with her to work only.

I ask you; “How would you have handled it? What would you have said?     

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