Adjourning Your Team

I have learned that it is hard leaving something that you have been a part of whether your experience was good  or bad because it seems that you are leaving a piece of yourself alone with it. I have learned that when you participate in things you take ownership of it. In group activities, you apply ideas, labor and time; you get to see it grow and develop like you would if it was your child. You become concerned that it will not be the same without you or that you will feel lost and have an emptiness without it.

The feeling that I had leaving a group that I enjoyed was both in sadness and joy at the same time. I was sad that it was over and that it would no longer be a part of my norm that kept me secure, empowered, and a part of something. I would miss the interaction with people that I once dread but learned to depend on and trust knowing that they depend and trusted me too; however, I was grateful and happy that I had the opportunity to grow and learn from the experience. I could proudly stand back and gloat over our accomplishments. I made a difference when others were involved. This means we succeeded and conquered our goal.  

It is ironic that when I left a group that I did not enjoy I felt both sadness and joy but in a different manner.  I was sad because I felt a sense of failure, frustration and exiled. It made me wonder and doubt that I would be successful in being accepted among a group of my peers again; on the contrary, I felt relief from all the stress and aggravation. I was no longer going to be submitted to disorder or lack of communication. I was excited that I did not have to convince myself not to throw in the towel and give up in hopes that it would be over soon. And even when the task was completed, I did not fill a sense of accomplishment; only relieved that it was over.  I could walk away with no strings attached with hopes of almost never engaging with any of them again. 

When the group that I had been singing in for 8 years ended because a few of us was going off to college, going to serve our country and moving, I dealt with it by focusing on all the good times we had. I cried and laughed at the same time. We hugged, kissed and promised to say in touch. We had built a union that allowed all of us to experience that harmony is possible even when you’re not singing. Leaving was hard but friendship, collaboration and support will always exist. And I feel that it will be the same in regard to school.

I feel that I have built a good rapport with many of my colleagues. We have shared both knowledge and experiences that will change the way we interact and engage with our children and families.  My departure will be one of sweet bitterness knowing that I have tackled my desire to obtain more knowledge along with achieving my Master’s degree.  While having the assurance that so many families and peers will be enhanced from our collaboration of effective education, we will as a group continue our efforts to advocate productive education.